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Zombies and Pain : How Writing Helped Me Deal With Losing My Dad
by Sylvester Barzey (∞)
from Atlanta, GA

I was asked recently what was my favorite book out of the Planet Dead series and I thought about it for a moment. I think my writing gets better with every project but Planet Dead 2 holds a unique place in my heart. 

I wrote that book the summer my father died. He was a great dad, but a bad husband and when my parents got divorced our relationship fell apart. There was a lot of step-mother drama and just two male egos that collided a lot.  

Then he had a stroke and phone calls got harder to carry.  

Then he got sick and phone calls got shorter.  

Then the phone calls stopped and I never got to hear his voice again.  

I blamed myself a lot for not using the time we had together to enjoy each other. I never thought he would be gone because to me he was Superman, but even Superman died. 

I explored my relationship with my father and dealing with his loss a lot on that book. In the story, Christian’s father is an alcoholic (which was a sickness me and my father battled with) and he dies in a drunk-driving accident. Christian has a lot of hate for both himself and his father but when the zombies show up and he starts seeing his dead father everywhere, he has to deal with that pain in order to survive.

I really think working on that book helped me through a dark time in my life. I lost my dad, my knee got worse and I had to leave my job. If I didn’t have that book to pour all that pain into, I don’t know how that summer would have went. 

I write because I honestly believe it’s a talent God gave me to make an impact on the world and while I’m figuring out what kind of impact that should be, I use it to heal myself along the way.

So, yeah, Planet Dead 2 is my favorite book ... and I used it to tell my father I loved him. 

[ My favorite father and son scene from Planet Dead 2 ] :

The darkness faded in and out as Christian felt his body being passed along. Every so often his eyes would open only to see all white and then he would fade back into the darkness. 

“You did good Mijo,” Jorge said. Christian’s eyes opened. There was nothing else in the darkness but his father’s figure standing over him. The old man smiled down at his son and ran his fingers through his gray hair.

“Am I dead?” Christian asked.

Jorge shook his head, “No, you ain’t the dying type, Mijo, you’re a fighter.” Jorge said softly. “You know when I was younger, I got into a lot of trouble with your uncle. We were fighters, too, just for a whole different reason.” Jorge ran his hands over his face and tugged on his salt and peppered beard. “I never thought I’d have a family. That kind of life just wasn’t in the cards for people like me.”

“What are you talking about, Pop?” Christian asked.

“I’m talking about love, Mijo. True and honest love. You only get that once in a lifetime. I was scared of it.” Jorge laughed, “I was more scared of your Mama’s love than I ever was of El Chapo.” Christian sat up in the darkness and stared at his father.” “So, like any scared little boy, I ran from it. I ruined it, I ruined you.”

“No you didn’t,” Christian said.

“Yeah, I did and for that, I’ll forever be sorry.” Jorge said. He sat down next to his son and took hold of Christian’s hand. “You’re gonna have a whole life of things you can blame yourself for, don’t make me one of them, Mijo. Don’t let my failures be your failures.” Christian stared at his father, but then he felt himself falling back into the bed. It was an uncontrollable force pulling him away from his father and back into the land of sleep. “I wanna say something profound and meaningful, but that’s not how I’m built. So, take this with you, only a fool walks out on love.” Jorge said, he kissed his son’s forehead and stood up. 

“Pop?” Christian said.

“Don’t be a fool, Mijo, don’t give up on her, don’t give up on la familia.” Jorge replied.

“Clear! I think we got him. Dr. Brooks I think we got him.”

“Good.”